She said, "Don't Hurry"

How can I slow down?
I have always been a buzzing bee

A hummingbird, fast and quick,

She said, "Don't Hurry"

How do I not?

I have always hurried

My heartbeat has always been fast

Fastest one in the 6th grade

(I was actually proud of that)

This is old stuff for me

Hurrying, dizzingly competent

Efficient, effective, I even write fast

Hard to slow down to smell all

The flowers, the other scents in the air

Myself, my loved ones

I passed by them too quickly

My mother taught me to be fast

"Hurry Up! Get ready!"

She praised my quick footedness as 

I searched for her love

"If I am fast, will you love me?"

I learned to ask at the breast

My husband and child taught me later on

Much, much later on

That my quick footed pace

Was upsetting to them

Annoyed them, made them 

Anxious, scared

"This is just who I am!" I said

"Why don't you love me and accept me?"

Little did I know then

What I know now

They just wanted to be with me

To feel calm and peaceful

Not to have me come and go so fast

I couldn't sit still, couldn't stay still

Prompting their anxiety, which I never meant

To do, managing my own anxiety by moving fast

Somehow transformation happened, and 

I learned just a few years ago that

Slowing Down Pleases Me

Slowing Down even pleases my old mother

I get more love when I slow down

Resting comfortably on the couch

With my dog and husband

Slowing down has become

My bliss, my ecstasy

After a lifetime of racing through

Not seeing clearly, nor hearing accurately

All that I missed

If I weren't so blissful now

I would grieve all the many ways

I learned to live, to survive

And now, I bless those ways, every one

As I let them go