Longings

 Longings for what exactly?

Longing to be close

But not too close

Longing to be part of

But not responsible to

Longing to be seen

But not always noticed

Longing to have my way

But get along well with others

Longing to feel

But not be flooded

By feelings

Longing to be held

Safely

Longing to be let go of

At times

Longing to let go

Longing to join in

Longing to separate

Longing to rest

But not be too lazy

Longing to connect

And then disconnect

When I want to

Longing to merge

Longing to touch

Longing to sleep

Longing to love 

And be loved

Longing to be private

But be known well by a few
Longing not to compete

But to collaborate

Longing for intimacy

But, not too compromising

Longing to share

On my own terms

Longing for peace 

With adequate stimulation

Longing to be with

Longing to be separate

Longing for home

Longing for peace

Longing for you

Longing for me

Longing to live

Without pain

Longing to die

The same

Maybe I long for

Too much

What if want to

Let go of all my

Longings?

Cuddle Puddles

We came. We saw. We cuddled.

Participating in the winnowing work of transformation

Facilitated by our Spirit guides and two shepherds

We jettison from who we are

To who we can be

Part of the journey is challenging

Swimming through robust Resistance 

Until agreeing to Surrender

Part of the journey is Exciting and Ecstatic

The traveling into and through

Other realms

While re-connecting with ourselves

At one with all

Toward the final phase of the process

We cuddle with each other

A pile of passionate creatures

Experiencing deep gratification

Love, peace, grief, joy

Translating the magic

Into human, physical space

Anchoring bliss into our bodies

Claiming the Deep Rest of

The Soul

The Body

The Heart

The Mind (not so much

So lovely when the mind is quieter)

Feeling the vibrations inside myself

Melting and mixing with yours

Soothing and fascinating we

Breathe together

Oh, my! Am I falling in love

With myself or anyone else?

Or with Divine power

The Creatrix

The Redeemer

The Supreme Spirit of all?

One Lamb separates from

The pack of herded Sheep

I feel 

A unique and different style

Of energy penetrating into me 

Or am I projecting?

How do I contain this magic within

Without an outside source to inspire me?

Why not just enjoy

And share?

Holy of Holies

Answer my prayers with 

Delight and sorrow

Sin and Forgiveness

(I am human after all)

Am I just a mother

Just a friend

Just a lover

Just a part of the whole?

Is that just or 

Paradise?

Fear intrudes

Implants itself inside 

The Body

Do I have a Choice?
Or, is some path declared 

By the Divine?

What moves me?

Sound, bass, vibrations

The Beat

Energy, darkness, the Sun

Deep Feeling
What happens after a  

Profound grief, rage, or depression?

I ask the Wild Woman Witch

To convey my options

She beams with great jubilation

(A Sun, herself)

And bellows

“Whatever you choose!”

I choose cuddle puddles

Every now and then

Clearing out our basements

Who is that crying? 

What is the source of these wails?

Sifting through the junk in the basement

I find one clue

A doll, overused or abused at some point

Her head turned around backwards

Where did she come from?
Why is she crying?

I reflect on her presence

Her old and sad body

What happened to your head?

I wonder

Trapped in a cardboard box

For Lo, these many years

Not sure why we kept her

To mark the past full of

Youthful energy?

What a hard life she has had

Darkness, mixed in with other toys

Some softer than she

Remember the Gunds?

Cuddly bears and beanie babies

We wondered what to do with them

We could not let them go

Years ago, a neighbor asked

If we had any old Barbie dolls

No longer wanted

We gave her the dolls

Knowing her plan which was

To pull off their heads

I heard later that this little

Girl got raped in college

What about those early years

When we thought the whole world 

Was ours to enjoy?
What about those adolescent years

When we struggled and couldn’t understand

Why life was so confusing and awful?

What about our grown up years

When we strived to succeed and 

At times continued to suffer with

So much stress and distress?

Here come the later years

Ah, what a feeling to behold!

Seventy years and life is getting

Clearer and more peaceful

Relaxed and joyful

Blessing all the ways we got here

Regretting some of our decisions

But, rejoicing in several of our choices

We now live more consciously

More tenderly than before

More hopefully than previously

Winds taken out of sails?

No, rather, the breath of Spirit

Blows up new

Sacred sails that take us on 

Wild adventures and travels

Amazing Grace

To arrive 

At last

Clearing out our basements

Growing up Too Fast

There goes a 12 year old girl

On the precipice of adolescence

Full of adventure and discovery

She enjoys learning

A healthy athlete

She is smart and kind

Oh, my god, what has

Happened

To her?

Uncle Bubba split her legs

Only recently

She was shocked, horrified

Now, in her own home state

She must carry a baby

A child herself

What happens now?

Criminal charges?

There’s still a baby

Lots of therapy

Family support

There’s still a baby

The government demands

Her to birth this baby

Many months later

Her life is on hold

Seemingly ruined

Like so many others

What if she is your child?

How do you tell her that life is fair

Or safe, or hers to enjoy?