To My Feathered Friend, Hilary

Hello to you, my Feathered Friend
I see an Albatross
Winging toward you
Filling us with calm sweetness
Love, brightness, and lustrous joy

This Albatross points upward to the skies
While grounded displaying her
Direct connection to Spirit
Sun and Moon and Cosmos

She sails the seas with few winds
An ease becoming apparent while
Wafting her way across the world
Our Planet, Mother Earth
In one long trip

Albatross, you are the Archangel
You are the Sophia Water Dragon
You are a beloved and blessed
Creature that soars above us all

Albatross, what do you share?
Wisdom, strength, playfulness
And wildness
(We all need a little wildness to
Encourage our creative doodlings
Paintings, music, movements 
Love and stillness)

We rely on you to guide us from
High above, flying into the ocean depths
Then, your webbed feet, paddling

Back to the sea's surface
Before flying up once more into the clouds
Experiencing love and freedom 

Let me rest upon your back as you 
Navigate the cliffs and portals that
Draw you near
Drop me into the ocean when
My physical body dies becoming
Fish and plant food, recycling energies
Settling into the deep dark 
Meeting you once again

What About This War?

What about this war and that war?

Hearing about war, seeing war

Participating in war

Horror and tragedy galore

Human suffering

Destruction of Mother Earth

Babies dying 

Divisions rife between

Each other

Between countries

Between neighbors

Between family 

Between parts of ourselves

We may not burn down 

A village but we do

Sometimes in our hearts

Brains and beliefs

Act war-like not just in our

Thoughts and feelings

But in our behaviors

We curse war

We grieve war

We mourn what 

War does to people

We rage about war

While human beings 

(Like us)

Create these wars

If there is evil in this world

It resides within us

Passed down from ancestors

In our genes and bones

Competition and greed

For money, land

Our way or the highway

We want everyone 

To believe as we do

(Or at least act as if they do)

So that we are successful

Our tummies are full

Our children and 

Families are content and safe

So what do we do?

Start a war

Join a war

Find community

In a holy war

Where no one is safe

Where children and families

Are tortured and die

In inhumane ways

We would not treat

Our pets like this

Even if they bite us

We would understand that

They had traumatic lives

Or their genes bred

This brutality in them

We don't have to compete

With our pets though

We have power over them

What to do instead of combat?

Root out and search

Within ourselves for

What conflicts and skirmishes

We participate in 

Inside ourselves?

Do we mean to do ourselves

Harm?  Not consciously

But we hurt ourselves

Anyway

We beat up our child-like

Parts and our traumatized

Parts and parts we would 

Rather not have or see

Or hear, we cast them 

To our dungeons

Especially those parts

Full of rage

What happens then?

They sometimes rise up

(We can't always control them)

They slip out in a 

Stressful moment 

When we feel unsafe

Or vulnerable or fragile

We can hurt others as well

Without knowing or owning 

Our own participation in the battle

Better to know ourselves

To challenge our projections

Onto others that they want 

What we have

That they want to harm us

They may or may not

But that doesn’t mean 

We fight them, kill them

Just to make sure they

Don’t steal our stuff

Or hurt us

When maybe they were 

Not planning such actions

At all

They like we just want to live

As best we all can

Human beings are fascinating

What about war?

It starts within us

Then with our most intimate

Friends and families

At work

At home

In our country

With whoever seems

Powerful over us 

Frightens us

We face 

Not knowing or

Understanding that

Violence begets violence

Love and peace

Can beget 

Love and peace

Which do we choose?

My Despair

When I am hurt

Or scared

For a long time

I dive into despair

Involuntarily

Yet still true

Catastrophizing

I used to call it

So, if I banged my toe

And it hurts to walk

I first blame myself

For being clumsy and

Not careful

Then, I perk up and

Deal with the injury 

But if it doesn’t get 

Fixed or repaired soon

Enough

I fall into despair

Oh, me, Oh, my

My maternal grandfather

Used to moan (or whine)

Oh, me, Oh, my

I’m going to the poorhouse

Granted he did live during

The Great Depression

And he liked to drink

Until his wife, my grandmother

Told him to stop or that

She would take the kids

And leave

Good for her

Born in the early 1900’s

That she could stand up 

To her man instead of just

Standing by her man

(He did quit drinking)

I wonder why I 

Go to moan or whine

If I am hurt or scared

Full of despair

And then, it seems, all at once

I get healed (or reborn)

Once again and I feel like

I can fly in the sky with

All the birds

Or, I can scale mountains

Even with these arthritic feet

Creative and imaginative

Once again, and perhaps

A little delusional. But I 

Will take delusion over

Despair almost any time

(An apology: I know that many other beings

Experience many more tragedies

Than mine. Bless us all!)

Fear and Me

Pain as source of fear

Or messenger of fear

Fear may be exercised

PT for fear? 

If we do our exercises

Daily, will

Our fear will be reduced?

Maybe meditation, breathing,

And other mystical practices 

Can assist us in accepting 

Fear

Acknowledging fear

Being with fear

Wondering about fear

Being curious about fear

Not necessarily needing

To understand fear

To reduce, decrease

Fear, another few steps

To address fear

To talk with fear

Ask questions:

"What are you doing here?

Do I need you for some reasons?

Are you helping protect me

Keep me safe?

Are you telling me something

In your clever code

That I need to explore to

Know better?"

Or else, calamitous catharsis

May happen to offer relief

Or, medicine may cover up

Mask the message

Or else, fear explodes in

Some other way

"Are you a guide or

A mentor

What are you trying

To teach me?

Am I making an A

Or an F in this class?

You live with me daily

I feed you and you feed me

We support each other in 

A circular sort of process

Where thoughts get all 

Tangled up and loop

Creating or becoming 

Distress, anxiety, and more

If I cut off your nourishment

Will I no longer be defended

By your intuition and your 

Knowledge of what is best

For me and what is not?

If I avoid you, I know

I don’t sleep as well at night

You dream for me

Scaring me at times

And not at other times

Denying you only makes

Me sick 

I choose to keep you

Fear

Will you stay?

Maybe we can work 

Side by side

And communicate

More easily and well

So that we know what we 

Each need and want from 

The other 

Because we all live here

In this body

Full of intricate inner

Workings and complex

Systems and such"

Deep from within and from without

I hear now

"We got you

You are not alone

We will hold your fear

And transmute it"