Counting the days until I got
What I wanted
What I have so desired
Is that pride and lust I smell
Under my armpits?
Here it is, all dressed up
In a pretty little package
My dream, my fantasy
Shrink wrapped in a box
Needing to be sliced out of
Its plastic so it can breathe
Opening and expanding
I rejoice
With a guttural Aha!
Stoking the ego
Chasing the craving
Believing in paradise
Not so fast!
The Divine Mystery exclaimed
Who do you think you are?
You think you deserve this little
Slice of Heaven on earth?
Why?
Sheepishly and nervously
I answered:
I played by the rules
I acted generous at times
I tried to love
Everyone as best I knew how
(Even though part of my
Performances were make-believe)
Why can’t I continue to
Believe in my good fortune
My being blessed and lucky
Am I so wrong?
YES! She shouted whirling around
Creating a vicious tornado
For a human being you have done OK
But, being a person, you still lack
The qualities, the polish, the chutzpa of
An energy smarter, more accomplished
More divine, like me
Did you think I would let you get away with this?
I suppose not, I responded, sadly
What are the tasks, the challenges
I must perform to beg you to
Let me have what I want?
I will even pray
No deal! She screamed
In a piercing and ear-splitting roar
I am not a broker, no deal maker
With the likes of you
I am here to show you
How to Let Go
To Surrender
I will take everything you
Have seemed to cherish
Away from you
In a violent and tragic tsunami
Have you heard about
The hurricane coming, the
Storm surge that
Wreaks havoc with
People’s dreams and lives?
Oh, no, I gasp, hysterically
I thought I could avoid that!
My last conscious action before I was
Knocked down, gruesomely and
Horribly destroyed (and transformed)
Was
Releasing my grip
Relaxing my arthritic
Fingers that
Clenched so long and so tightly to
All parts of this life
I kept a straight face though
Wanting to appear as courageous and brave
As I could be, not wanting to appear weak
Then came the thunders
The lightnings
The flooding
The final releasing of
My greatest grasp on
This reality
That I made up
No longer could I hold on
No longer could I deny to myself
The Truth
Letting go of my dreams
My very human yearnings
(Like that I will live through this)
I finally gave up, gave in
Relaxed and floated while
The tide pulled me out to sea
Somehow, without effort
Avoiding every projective missile
Thrown toward me
Then I saw Her in the deepest waters
Knowingly and gently smiling at me
Now that I knew who was boss
I hugged Her so fiercely
I didn’t want to let Her go
She swam away, easily, laughingly
Teaching me
A pure relationship
Between all beings
And the Divine
Peace spread out
A beautiful space
Inside me
Absolute surrender
I was free at last
For a time
