Rumi: "Don't Go Back to Sleep"

 Back to sleep?

We are just waking up from

A long summer's nap

Years of COVID

Years of Grief

Transformation is just beginning

Change surrounds us in abundance

This time with less fear..... strange.....

Facing new truths

Not living them completely yet

Imagining this new kind of life

Sensing so much fear and anger

Around us as we move within

Nature's intense cycle of life

Appreciating even the wasp's sting

The snakes that slide through our gardens

The animals are speaking

The trees and plants are singing

Their roots prompt re-membering

The birds and beasts wrap us up in

Their silences, holding us warm and tight

Awaiting this new birth that is 

Sprouting between our legs

Oh, Wonder! Oh, Joy!

This baby will teach us 

About the divine within us

About the spark and the dark 

Shadows within our soft souls

Letting go of fear

Releasing the breath

Calming our nervous systems

Deepening our sense of aliveness

I hope to meet you here

Shalom

Grace

Large bulky manatee

Looking like

A sumo wrestler

Not fighting but asserting

Her body mass gently wherever

She wants to be

I see myself in this beautiful
Mournful manatee, floating in
Shallow and deep waters
Visiting other beings in their grief

I do not know what sounds she makes

Maybe a soothing song, like a whale

Communicating with otherworldly beings

Who rise up from beneath the ocean's floor

To greet us once again

In this dance of life and love

(And sometimes horror)

These transcendent beings circle

Sharing our connective waves

And particles, joining each other in

The deep wells of the sea

As I rise back up to more familiar 

Surroundings, I realize that

Grace has touched me once again

Lifting me high into

Clearer and clearer waters

Leaving the murky, dark

Deep behind 

For a time

At a Snail's Pace

Crawling on my belly

Feeling free on the earth below me

The sky above and 

All the blessed and dark

Energies around me

My antennae sense and

Send messages throughout 

My tiny body, informing and 

Sometimes deforming my ideas

About the world around me

A leaf, no struggle

A waterfall, more challenging

I accept being fully alive

Moving along comfortable climes

And more beastly hot, dangerous ones

Inside me, no struggle

Knowing who I am 

What I do in this world

I slide, secreting my healing, sticky oil

Onto any and every surface

Wherever we go, we all leave

Little pieces of us everywhere

Always seeming to have enough

Always being provided enough

Juice to keep on living

And giving

I revel in the sunshine

I slide upon the plants

And rocks who hold me safely

As I pour myself into

The next space and the next

Slowly, kindly, the journey

Is vibrant and slippery at 

Times - at other times

No risk or sense of fear 

At all

Now the day is done and

 As I close my eyes

My antennae gradually dull

My body disappears

My shell, however, remains solid

As I sleep or die, held safely

The Bridge

Unclog these pores

Let me bleed!

Caught in the middle of the 

Frozen Bridge, wanting to

Step out onto green pastures

Visiting the Shepherdess

Alas, I could not cross

The Bridge, I was stuck

The latter half of the Bridge

Began melting away

Ice transforming to water 

So slippery and sudden

I was lost

Rarely standing still in the middle of 

The Bridge

It seemed at first like hell 

Heat rising, ice melting

When all of a sudden

The Shepherdess walked onto

The Bridge, no longer with her 

Staff and fleet of foot

Never seeing her here before
I realized I didn't have to cross

The Frozen Bridge to find her 

That she might come toward me herself

“When you are lost or are in deep pain

I will come to you, my arm gliding

Around your weighty arms, your

Feeling so helpless in this chaos

I will help you find your way”

Just like that, a little divine magic and

The bridge cleared, no longer

Frozen or melting, just a

Wooden bridge, old and beautiful

No distress here

When I saw the Shepherdess moving

Away from me, she waved and said

“Remember, I am always here for you”
And, with that she vanished into the ether

Clogs dissolved

Heart bleeding

Tears flowing

Breath heaving

I felt my life again

Almost Heaven

Rolling off the couch

Between cushion and coffee table

My parents' blue toned Oriental rug 

Underneath me

Wrapped in a lush blanket

I stay there, curled up

Head down, so very 

Comfortable

Like a bunny (or a fetus)

Wrapped up in fur inside

A den of soil and bugs

Mycelial network and roots

Earthworms and such

I lie there quietly, silently

Relaxing, resting for a long time

Darkness inside the blanket

Cuddled up in softness

(or amniotic fluids)

Perfectly content

Like a bunny, I revel

In the light, sun and clover

Grasses and meadows

Urban yards and drainage pipe

Ditches under driveways

Nibbling my way through the 

Day, lunging only when startled

Surprised or having a premonition

Of being attacked by some 

Wild animal, or domestic dog

A loud disturbing sound

Like a lawnmower, leaf blower

A child squealing

At night, I return to my burrowed 

Dirt-filled den, dark and safe

Safe, tender, utter peace

After each night of being

Held by the spirits in my den 

(Or in my mother’s womb)

I awake to greet the day

With joy and excitement

Of the coming light

The bright sun and dark rain

The gentle winds and snow

(the hailstorms, not so much)

And friends: the birds

Chipmunks, squirrels, snakes

But not the cats

Or hawks who want to eat me

Almost heaven

Black Crows

Bevy of black crows

Swarming like bees

Barking like wild dogs

Flying toward the tallest tree

Announcing Death?

All those black, shiny feathers

All those loud eruptions from hell

Rushing to escort some being to heaven?

Instead, turns out to be

Group of angry (or protective)

Black crows

Diving at a light brown hawk

Encouraging sly hawk to

Leave the huge tree where

She hunts and searches for

Crows' nests, eggs or babies.

Hawk swoops out of the thick

Branches, the black crows 

Laughing the transformative

Humorous rattle of death

Saving rodents and eggs

Babies and more

From certain death

Nectar of the gods and goddesses all

My Mother's Fingernails

My grandmother’s fingernails were thin

Mine are thick

Our child’s are tough

My mother’s fingernails need cutting

When our child was tiny, I panicked when

Trying to cut those tiny nails

Trying so hard not to draw blood

Most of the time successful

I trimmed my own all of my life

Only a few manicures and pedicures

Ever. I have never cut my mother’s

Fingernails, until today

Her stroke impaired her vision

Prompted confusion at times

Her walking unsteady, 

Independence no more

I now water her plants 

Retrieve her mail, pay her bills

I have never cut my mother’s

Fingernails before

I notice they look different 

From before, longer, untrimmed

Not as clean as usual

Unpolished as always

I ask her if I can cut them for her

She nods and I begin

Recalling the panic with our child

Breathing deeply and fully this time

Without injury

Without suffering

I trim her nails

Delighted, no blood

My tears finally flow

This cycle of life business

I have always heard about

I am now living

My mother took care of me

All of my life

Now, it is my turn and

I treasure this time with her

The String Quartet

The braided motions of space

Of memory

The knotted histories of each of us

Together as One

Intricate paths and orbits

Of our lives

 

We bounce off each other

As we greet with a word or a tone

Our histories shouting loudly in

Our behaviors, subliminal and subtle

 

We knot our spacetime waves 

Sometimes parallel to each other

Sometimes perpendicular to each other

Sometimes bombarding each other

Retreating or recoiling in 

Disgust or Fear

 

The indefinite, the uncertain

Is found in our interpretations

Or our own and others' behaviors

The truth, no one knows

The constellations of our perceptions

And interpretations make for a cloudy sky

Full of stardust, wisdom, and fantasy

 

All true

All coming together

All one

 

Can we hear amidst the noise and motion?

The particles and waves

The gorgeous combinations of our atoms

Our colors as diverse as any tapestry

Our personalities like snowflakes

Each unique and individual

But similar to each other and different

 

Both And

Not Either Or

Enlightenment in Action

Mythic fear and trauma

The living paradox of life

With love and with destruction 

Divisions and mutuality

Safety sought, hoping to thrive

Exploring, finding meaning, purpose

A world of infinite uncertainty

Partaking of the Mystery

Constrictions, restrictions

Contracting, holding breath

Threats and hiding 

Emerging Reality

Interdependence 

Connectedness

Radical Ambiguity

Seeking community

Time to breathe deeply 

Release, Let Go, Open

Expand, Exhaling the toxins

We ingest and making space

For Beauty and goodness

Loving Kindness and Joy

No matter how the world

Around us is acting

Sometimes chaotic both 

Inside and out 

Soothing our souls

Tending to the wounds

Discovering

Enlightenment in action

My Mother, Myself

For most of my life

I have imagined being

Very different from

My mother

She, the minister’s wife

The church lady

Me, the activist 

Advocate, somewhat rebellious

Truth comes home to roost

My mother has always been pleasing

Taking care of others (including me)

So, too, I became a pleaser

But with a bit of a bite

Mother loves thoroughly, greatly

Revolved around her man and his life

Playing the support role, the

Real Power behind the scenes

I fancied myself more like my dad

Out in the marketplace, speaking

Truth and causing some trouble

Now always liked but loved enough

Like my father, I have needed

Emotional support, behind my scenes

It took some time to find such a partner in mid-life

What a wonder and a joy!

Joni Mitchell's Circle Game

A mixing of DNA, protons, neutrons

Electrons, swirling around

Creating us as human connected to family

To the world and multiverse

To all other beings and objects

Can I caretake my mother as well

As she took care of me?

Is that actually the goal? 

Maybe I can just love her

The truth comes home to roost

I do it differently than she

And hopefully

Devote myself, both

To my mother and

To myself