Yum in the womb
All needs met if
Mother was healthy
Enough.
Birth
Some agony along with
Bright beaming lights
At the end of the tunnel.
Hands of
Doctors in cold rooms
Parents warming
Holding us closely
Not always for long enough.
Our first cries:
“Oh, now, now, you’re OK
Shush, Shu, Shu
Are you hungry?
Do you need a new diaper?
What is it?
Help us know!”
We do not understand
We cannot understand
All we know is that sometimes
We are filled up and
Sometimes, we are not.
Warm hands, skin, and breasts
Feel so very fabulous
(Most of the time, depending)
But they come and go
Disappearing too often
We cry, we scream
We sulk, we cannot make sense of
How life works
It is impossible
With only a baby brain
But possible as we try
New tricks to find answers
To what we so want and need.
We begin studying and learning
As fast as we can that
When we cry, we may get
A breast, a bottle, sucking
(Sucking, oh so soothing)
Or, we may get nothing at all
So we need to become more creative
Yelling and crying more and more
Until someone listens and knows
What to do.
Or, we may get quiet wondering if
Being silent gets the warm hands back
The breast or bottle
Maybe this time?
Confused, fearful, and dependent
Not being able to do much for
Ourselves
We learn and learn
As best we can
And then, we find
That the world around us is
Sometimes beautiful
Fun and exciting!
And, sometimes horrible
Sometimes empty and
We are all alone for
Far too long.
We keep growing and grasping
We develop so many patterns
During these early years and
We hold onto them with our
All our energies and cunning
Trying to get what we think
We need even when we can
Feed ourselves now.
We still want the warm hands
The milk, the food
The breast
We still don't want the noise
The confusion, the suffering
The emptiness, feeling lost and alone.
We try to find new ways to substitute
Solutions to those same needs and desires
As best we can
All of our long lives
Sometimes successful
Sometimes with tragic results
We keep trying to
Get better all the time.
