ReBecoming

Part 1 

What happens if I cut my metaphorical

Umbilical cord to my “mother”

My human deceased mother and

My society’s and culture’s “mother”

Which has actually been a patriarchal place to live

If I cut that cord to Mother

How will that feel?

How will I feel?

Will I float out into the cosmos separated from earth?

Will I detach from my usual worldly realities

So that I am unattached, all alone

Except for the Divine Mysteries?

(That's a big "except for”)

Will I live in a spiritual womb

That offers me all that I want

All that I need?

What will it be like to be with Spirit

All of the time

Not just once in awhile?

Daily, when I walk down the street and see

The goldfinches whizz by and hear

The young mockingbird singing

At the top of his lungs

Rejoicing in the sounds that he makes

I smile

These are gifts from Spirit

When I hear the doves coo

When I see dandelions and other wildflowers growing

All offerings of beauty and delight

Shared by Grace

I am happy

Perhaps these are sensory seductions of the Divine

If I cut my umbilical cord to Mother

Meaning to my earlier patriarchal conditioning and training

I may become an aging hippie crone witch

Living in the Florida swamps

Among the bugs and alligators

Spanish moss, pelicans, and osprey

Brown skinned, hot and sweaty

My hair, a tangled mess

Much like it was when I grew up

So that my mother braided my hair carefully

Every day for 7 years until

It was cut shorter

I may also become a large Amazonian priestess or

Shaman, I guess we never know

I may not feel rebellious toward my mother anymore

I may not feel defensive no matter what others

Say to me or in reaction to how people seem to feel around me

I may no longer really care much about how I look or

How I speak, no longer worried about acting appropriately

In public or even at home with other human beings

No, I may not really care much about those things any more

I will feel embodied breathing deeply, meditating 

(and whatever else I choose)

To help me dive into the Spirit world and be with the elementals and

The fairies in the deep, dank forests, wet and fertile

While I sing, chant, dance, and hum, bowing to Mother Earth

Illustrating my deep devotion to the Divine

Throughout the remainder of my life here

Unlike my mother, does Spirit require anything of me?

Do I need to replace Mother’s and follow Spirit’s rules

Dictating my behaviors, thoughts, feelings and deeds?

I wonder

What will life look like?

Who will I become?

I really don’t know

Not yet being able to shed

Many of the teachings I have learned

While growing up with Mother

If I disengage from my identity as

Mother's Child and

Deepen my identity with the Divine

Who am I really?

Who will I ReBecome?

I do thank my mother for all she helped me do and be

How do I unlearn or re-learn new ways of being, ReBecoming?

No longer nervous, anxious, or worried about doing all the “right” things

Not so tied to results of my performances while human

I will be free, liberated from the shackles I have adopted to bind me

I will race through the world at times, and at other times

Be so still that Spirit will hover closely beside me, within me, and I can

See and hear and feel and even touch more spiritual and mystical

Energies than ever before

I will be so relaxed and I will rest so well

I will feel deep, delicious, and sustaining energy

Without needing to create a job or a new career for myself

I will not have to work so hard but will create all sorts of art

Playing and enjoying my lazy days

Just being

Not doing

What paradise that may be!

What joy and bliss!

And, I don’t have to die physically to ReBecome

(Which I guess I may have believed before)

I can just sit with Grace and Love and not Do

Just Be

Feeling worthy and enveloped by the Love of

All the entities and guides

All the energies, dark and bright, that I wander through

While living in this world

I will be more content and comfortable

Than I have ever imagined being before

The best description is Peaceful

Amen

Hooray

And, so it is

Part 2

What will I miss if I am with Spirit all of the time

Or even more of the time?

I might miss all the rules I have learned so well

I know how to play by those rules (or rebel from them) and

Act like a success

I might miss being the anxious, excitable and

Enthusiastic, animated person that I am

You know, the one sometimes filled with adrenaline

Supercharged and hyper-vigilant while following

Mother’s seemingly easy rules

I might miss the attention I get from humans

Who seem to accept me (if I perform well)

But I have to wonder if I will need so much of

That kind of attention if I feel more at

One with Spirit?

I won't miss so much doing for others

Because I have often been driven to do more for them

Than they ever even wanted

Trying clumsily to maybe feel loved

Instead, I can do for myself and for others

As I get inspired to, rather than

Just being driven and bound to (tied to)

I know I fear that if I slow down too much

I will become a puddle on the floor

Not making myself exercise nor

Managing my food intake, instead I may be

Like an amoeba with no boundaries at all

Oozing and maybe even gushing at times

Spilling out, losing the self I have known

I fear getting heavy and that is about Mother, too

Maybe I also won't need so much soothing from food

Because I will be filled with Spirit

And maybe even more satisfied than

What my human body craves and delights in

(Salt, grease, and chocolate)

If I ReBecome, I may appear to other humans as

Brain damaged or psychotic

Maybe demented so that they may

Feel sorry for me and my family

Or not

Wow, what fears these are and more!

No wonder I have resisted this invitation by

Spirit to join more fully into the divine energies

More consciously, more exuberantly

Than I have ever before imagined

Having experienced such human fear and anxiety

What will my life be like

Without that fear and anxiety?

Heaven