An inner dialogue on Shame

Oh, my shame

Why did you show up on this beautiful day?

Oh, listening to a friend talk about his

Mine?

My hands travel down to my pelvic region 

Stopping along the way
All tangled up with my bowels

Why there, shame?
Why in my gut?

As I sink into the meditation

Words come

Words like 

Banished

Exiled

And I want to investigate

Past lives

Being a witch or a Joan or Arc

Or being kicked out of some

Country for being too forthright 

Too brash, too abrupt, too loud

Fighting for freedom

Yes, that feels right

Fighting for freedom

Symptoms include

Contracting, nervousness

Anxiety, elimination

Purging

Stage fright

Deep Fear

So, better keep contained

No more seeming out of control

With any kinds of passion or agony

Rebellion or metamorphosis

Better to stay protected 

Inside the fortress

Keep that heart of mine

Closed off, not safe to 

Open up that much 

Ever

Why not?

Small matters like 

Getting killed

Or being sent away from everything

And everyone I know

That’s all

OK, say that happens again, even

While I am speaking about 

Truth and Spirit, how can that get me

Into trouble again?

Are you kidding yourself?
With the masses

The collective unconscious

Which does not think or feel

The ways you do

The unawakened

Those who get along with

The status quo

Keep to themselves or

Keep on chatting their ways

Up the social ladder of

Convention and tradition

Not a blasphemer like you

Tradeoffs?

Killing myself softly with a song

Keeping all wrapped up inside

Leaking out at the seams
Co-creating some cancer or

Disease in order to play out

Victimhood?

No, thank you

I will speak, I will sing

I will listen and I will challenge

I will be myself and no one but myself

And, you get to be you

Isn’t that delightful?

No longer getting all tense and

Anxious about performing

No longer feeling pressure to be

Something or someone I am not

No longer wearing the tailored suits

That got me paid well

No

Now the gypsy rises in 

Her dancing dresses

Flinging her feathered boas

So garish

Bubbling, spilling out and 

Shaking about

Playful and silly 

Shouting out nonsensical words

Using her voice for broadcasting

And, they listen

The want more of this one

Holy crap! 

What have I done now?