My Despair

When I am hurt

Or scared

For a long time

I dive into despair

Involuntarily

Yet still true

Catastrophizing

I used to call it

So, if I banged my toe

And it hurts to walk

I first blame myself

For being clumsy and

Not careful

Then, I perk up and

Deal with the injury 

But if it doesn’t get 

Fixed or repaired soon

Enough

I fall into despair

Oh, me, Oh, my

My maternal grandfather

Used to moan (or whine)

Oh, me, Oh, my

I’m going to the poorhouse

Granted he did live during

The Great Depression

And he liked to drink

Until his wife, my grandmother

Told him to stop or that

She would take the kids

And leave

Good for her

Born in the early 1900’s

That she could stand up 

To her man instead of just

Standing by her man

(He did quit drinking)

I wonder why I 

Go to moan or whine

If I am hurt or scared

Full of despair

And then, it seems, all at once

I get healed (or reborn)

Once again and I feel like

I can fly in the sky with

All the birds

Or, I can scale mountains

Even with these arthritic feet

Creative and imaginative

Once again, and perhaps

A little delusional. But I 

Will take delusion over

Despair almost any time

(An apology: I know that many other beings

Experience many more tragedies

Than mine. Bless us all!)