Divine Eruption

Finally! No longer a victim of the stories that

I told myself all these years, consciously and unconsciously

My only perpetrator was growing up as a human child in this world

Adhering to the guidelines, policies and procedures of

Family and society, being neglected early on just

Because of great stress, heightened fear, and potential tragedies

That many of us experience

Now, I no longer need to live according to what I think

I should do as or how I should act as a human being

I now live more clearly aligned with Spirit

Awakening to my Soul’s purpose and mission

I have always wanted community, but recently

Decided to withdraw from community for awhile

Separating myself from some of the

World's stresses and the needs of so many others

So that I could learn to know myself more deeply and

Explore core issues like feeling sometimes unlovable

Feeling sometimes deeply lonely and separate

Feeling sometimes like a victim

A woman burned at the stake

Never before conscious of feeling

Like a victim until this exact moment in my life

Having felt the need to follow requisite ways of being

Appropriate etiquette learned so early 

Ingrained in my cells and bones

I became tired of attending to what I thought were

The needs of my family, friends, and profession

(All just stories I told myself)

And now

I am free

No longer feeling like a victim

Without knowing it consciously

Until now

Earlier, I thought I had to follow protocol

Had to be a good girl

Had to be kind and gracious

Repressing anger and even excited animation

Because these feelings were just too

Uncomfortable for some others

Startling the status quo

Rocking the supposed calm of holding

Everything together by the tiniest of threads

I performed well, I became a good girl

Filtering out the behaviors that were

Distressing to others

Only to grow up and help create a family

And career that prompted me to

Try oh so hard to meet others' wants and needs

By acting calm enough, sturdy enough, and quiet enough

To not shake up others’ sensitive bodies and minds

Their souls?

I became successful in some worldly ways

Losing some of myself at the same of time

I kept thinking and believing that I needed 

To change for others

Crucify or cut off parts of myself that seemed to draw

Negative attention, Calm down, Calm down!

I chopped off so many parts that I became

Depressed and stressed, dressed in a straight jacket

Sewn with my own own hands

Just trying to fit into what I assumed

My family and others needed

Enough of that, all those years trying to comply

At work, at home, within myself

Then, all of the sudden

I burst open like an overripe fat fig

Splitting apart, spraying out juicy seeds

Dripping with divine nectar

Full of hope and sacred passion

A Divine Eruption

Helping me become the woman that I am today

More closely aligned with my Soul, with Spirit

More consciously doing what I please and what

I know is good for me and for the benefit of all beings

If who and what I am is not good for you

I feel some regret and grief, and

I am still who I am

Finally and forevermore

The Goal

The goal is not to just think or believe

We are not unworthy

We are not unlovable

We are not alone

We are not inadequate

We are not failures

We are not victims

No, the real goal is to believe and truly understand 

Deep down in our bodies, hearts and minds that 

We were and are lovable

We have never been truly alone

We have always been worthy

We have always been adequate

We have been successful

And last but not least

We have never been nor ever are a victim

Never Ever

          (that is just a story we tell ourselves

            and keeps us stuck)

And

We have been and are truly loved now

Forever and always

Dream to Wake

 As Nature, as part of this amazing Universe

And set of galaxies throughout the cosmos

We seek blessings and healings for our human

Bodies, for physical health and strength, for

Emotional, spiritual and mental health and 

Goodness for our communities

And for the reduction of whatever pains us

While living in this world

Knowing that pain may be an instructive

Message to us

As can any particular thing that happens to us

In this life

Symbols abound all around us

We interact with all the elements

Every time we breathe

Every time we step outdoors

Every time we sleep to dream

Dream to wake

Our lives are filled with so many opportunities

To explore, to adventure, to bask in the light

Of the sun, the moon, and the stars

Even in the absolute darkness

We rest and relax soaking up the energies

All around us

Absorbing some and releasing some others

Thank you, thank you, thank you

Change

 We can almost not believe our luck

In living on this planet at this time

A time of great chaos and concern

Along with a great time of change

A time of transformation from this sweet ole world

To a New World full of possibilities and hope

Many feel (and are) tormented by the outer edges and 

Even the mainstream of human behaviors

Our leaders and so many others

Acting so greedy, corrupt with lies

Dripping off their tongues with ease and 

Perhaps even unconsciousness about what 

They are doing to so many oppressed peoples

To so many blessed peoples and to

Themselves and to our beautiful planet

Hard to trust in anything or anyone with

All that going on so vividly, daily, moment by moment

On our phones, on the news, on TV and 

Reflected in every part of our cultures

What to do? many wonder

I offer what I have learned lately

More intimately than ever before

Take some time, slow down 

From your current rat race

Stop and keep still long enough

To witness your life with a bird’s eye view 

Your human history, your genetic and 

Ancestral history, and realize perhaps for 

The first time that you are an innocent being

Who has struggled with human issues all of your life

(As is normal for humans to do)

And now, perhaps it is time to focus internally 

Letting go of the past and surrendering to present life

While also allowing spirits, guides, and community

(Human and other)

To assist you and bring your more peace and joy

Than you have ever had a chance to know

Although this process can take years of noticing

Developing and growing through transformative

Meditative and guided experiences

What else is more important

Than re-discovering your Soul and its blueprint

Increasing your ability to love and be loved 

While you still put food on the table at night

And wander about your days with more ease and 

Security, comfort and contentment

Than ever before?

I currently live in this process and

I hope you can, too