What a Good Little Girl!

Most of my life, I have kept

As silent as I thought I should be

Most of my life I have tried to be good

To be pleasing and helpful to others

Most of my life I have kept myself safe

So that I could manage my fears and anxieties

Most of my life I have heard that children were to be

Seen and not heard (I was often loud and still am)

Most of my life I have felt different from others

Not quite like the rest, but I also

Knew I was similar enough to get by

Turns out we were all hiding 

Right here in plain sight

We were all trying to be 

"Appropriate" like we were taught to be

As Southern girls and women

Trained well at the breast

From now on in my life

I plan to be more careful in my choices

About when to speak and not speak

About when I want to be heard and when

I want silence all around me

Not just within me

From now on I will talk to my friends

And family and to my spirit guides

Along with my ancestors

I'll talk to strangers when

I want to, and not when I don't

(Unless there is a good reason)

From now on I plan to be more crisp

When I speak or write, more articulate 

And certain about what I am communicating

Having before worried that I might look stupid

Or silly, and that I should remain mum

I became what my culture trained

Me to be - until I became resentful

And burned out, angry at others

Without understanding why

(It wasn't fair to them, either)

Forget the word "appropriate"

According to whom?

Let me be risky, moving around 

Wildly dancing

Stomping loudly

When the spirit moves me

Oh, but that scares others and maybe

They won’t like or respect me

At my current age, who cares?

(I have always cared, does that change?)

May I be outrageous in my appearance

May I share grace and love with

All beings in and around Mother Earth

And with all realities, matter, and

Spaces in between, with black holes

And worm holes

(My husband tells me it is 

Easy to love at a distance)

Let me spice up life

By being more daring

And courageous, stepping out in front

Like the majorette I was, an entertainer

But this time not as sheepishly or shyly

Like in high school

This time I know that I am 

Guided by those beings 

Who surround me

Who want me to do what I came here

To do: to be a messenger

A communicator, sharing and

Gathering and helping all beings

Until my human body is finished

And, I return home 

Adventuring onwards and towards

Until it is time for 

Eternal peace and rest

(If that is ever a thing)