Glistening Grace

First scene: musky mushrooms

Later came sounds

Upon hearing these words for

The first time, I melted

Falling into the Beloved’s arms

Full embrace

“We got this,” they whispered

(or boomed, not so sure which)

I imagined being held in a spacious

Dark womb, full of juicy fluids

The nectar of all life

Wondered if I may be dying

Next thought: that’s OK if I am

My mind continued to interrupt

Wondering about my responsibilities

Then, I heard these words

“We’ve got them, too”

Utter relief, freedom, liberation

Emancipation, transformation from

Being just a human wandering around

This world in this life

To a Knowing Being

For the first time ever

Becoming a more trusting person

Longing to surrender

Let go, release all the

Stress and tensions of 

Being human for so long

Next scene, different sacrament

All alone in a dry desert

The sun beating down

No shade or people

No water or coolness

All alone

Then, I saw large dark black birds

With long sharp bills

Flying down to me

Pecking at my abdomen

Hungrily

I felt no harm or anxiety

Just curious

My interpretations of my early life 

Carried the message that 

I was to feed people

I had taken this not quite literally 

(but somewhat) and

Became a psychotherapist trying 

To help everyone I knew and saw

Then, I saw this desert image and

Heard a new interpretation:

Not only shall I feed people but 

I should BE THE FOOD!

(Hell, NO! a part of me screamed)

Another voice came from within 

“Let them eat me, let them suck my blood

Nourishing themselves while I slowly die

Becoming recycled dry bones in the sand”

Angrily, grievously

I hated the message and worked for a long while

On changing my need to be needed by others

Giving up the idea that helping them would feed me

I rebelled, I wailed, I thought what a terrible

Belief I have held onto lo these many years

Taking some time and several journeys

I finally arrived at a different place

After retiring from my career work

I isolated myself often 

To just be

Instead of do

And I got quite good at that

Taking care of myself first and then

If I wanted to help others, I could

Then came the Sacred Molecule 

Spiritual cat and frog

This molecule helped me realize

We can all be healed, and the fact is,

That we are all food for each other

Literally and spiritually

Now as I become more filled with 

Glistening Grace

I just shine

I just glow

I don’t have to do much

Except be the simple person

I have become

Far less doing

Not needing to please others so much

Nor being driven to help others

Searching for love in all the wrong places

Blindly without knowing why

Now, I know

I needed to be pleasing

So I could feel loved

I needed to be needed 

Because people’s needing me

Felt like love to me

Until it didn’t

And I was worn out

Drained of energy

Resenting my actions

Not their fault

I did it to myself

I even enjoyed myself

Much of the time

Before

One day, a mockingbird sang

Offering me a new tune

One that changed everything:

We are all wounded by early life

We develop false selves and

Perfect them throughout our lives

Until we face our beliefs and fears 

That we are not good enough

Smart enough, whatever is best

Enough

And only when we face and know

These beliefs and how and why we

Have them, can we let them go

Surrendering them to
Glistening Grace

For healing

Then, we can truly rest

In brilliant white

Sharing this light with the world

Birth and Death in 3/4 time

Cicadas
Solar Storms

Sound and Fury

Our sun bursts with energy

Ejecting flames and spirals

Out into our universe

Sometimes impacting Earth

Cicadas, 13 and 17 yr olds

Uprooting from the ground

Arising, shedding skin

Surging out of the womb

Becoming born, mating and

Dying in such swift succession

Much like human life

Our souls hang out 

Somewhere 

(Where, we may not know)

A consecration occurs

Mother and Spirit crash together

A sperm meets egg

A fertilized embryo is formed

Cicadas live underground

Babies grow in

A womb of juicy fluids

Everything is taken care of (usually)

By Mother Nature

The fetus, the larva 

The baby jostling about

Or flowing within the waves of

Moods and movement 

Nourishment and buoyancy

Crawling out or surging forth

We grow and transform

Living, loving, and dying

In three quarter time

The sun, cicadas, and our souls

Continue onward

Faith Wanderings

I fear sometimes that

It is all up to me

This life, this love

This power 

These tragedies

(How silly!)

This dilemma and stress

This mood and feeling

Seems like it is all up to me to accept

To manage, to tolerate, to change

To suffer, or to flow through

Or

Maybe I can surrender 

Whatever this present is

Giving it up or over to a

Divine Intelligence to handle it

For me, for us

I imagine and hope that a 

Spirit, a guide, or a community

Of them (Facilitators of Truth)

Will take care of me

And offer me 

Only or mostly 

Nurturance and love 

(No conflict here, ha!)

Assuming that if I just 

Let Go

Of whatever trouble is happening

That I will float but still feel and

Think but not be overwhelmed

By guilt or blame

Grief or sorrow

Maybe I can cruise through human life

With a crystal in my pocket

Fueled and led by 

Spirits and Faeries

While I listen more openly

And carefully

To what comes through me

(Or, kicks me in the gut)

Maybe I can be an acrobat or

Trapeze artist who perfectly

Coils on time, twists and twirls

Swings and grabs hold of

This connection through one handle

That supports my air dancing

Holding me

Keeping me from falling

Down into some net of shame

I plan to move and do 

To celebrate and share

To shine this bright light offering

To the world:

We are all protected and

Loved through a 

Great Mystery

Called Faith

So we can glide even more 

Gently and easily in

These vast and wondrous 

Currents of human life